Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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