He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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