Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize