Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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