in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize