??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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