I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
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It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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