I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
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My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
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Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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