There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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