I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize