what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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