I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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