on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize