if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need water and some morals
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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