I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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