So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize