guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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