Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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