Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize