I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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