8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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