This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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