hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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