alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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