An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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