Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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