I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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