How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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