I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize