found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
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