i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize