these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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