How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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