I wanna passion pit in your ass
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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