guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have tasted many bathrooms
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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