So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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