You really coming over, don't trick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize