i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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