After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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