i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize