you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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