He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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