...so i touched it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize