awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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