Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize