You can't motorboat a personality
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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