Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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