I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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