21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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