in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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