Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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