so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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